Recently I was alerted to the fact that I say sorry when I really don't need to. Maybe it's because it's stereotypically British, or links to confidence, anxiety or even gender but I'm sure that I'm not the only one who could class themselves as an over-apologiser. The 'sorry' that I'm most guilty of at the moment is "Sorry, but can I ask a silly question". I ask this to my lecturers, work colleagues, ballet teacher but why am I saying sorry for asking a question that most definitely isn't silly because it's helping me learn.
Things we should stop saying sorry for
Things out of our control of that aren't our fault
When asking for help or what you need from the people in your life
When you're feeling unconfident in a situation
For little mistakes
For your perceived 'flaws'
For expressing your feelings in a healthy way
For being yourself
Is there a problem with over-apologising?
After thinking about what I'm saying sorry for so often I ended up questioning if when I do really say the magic word for a true apology. Do the people in my life know that it's sincere and genuine because I use and abuse the word? This question surrounding the value of the word knocked my confidence for a bit because I became a little obsessed with what I was apologising for and got sucked into a vicious circle of apologising for something I shouldn't be apologising for and then saying sorry for saying sorry when I didn't need to. I think I'd even started to believe that I should be sorry for things like being myself.
About two weeks ago rather than apologising for over-apologising, I broke free of the vicious circle and rather than say sorry for my unnecessary apology I started to consider why I had felt the need to apologise. By making myself aware of the sorry I've managed to cut down on how many times I say it without needed to and I feel so much more confident.
What has been the silliest thing you've said sorry for this week? Mine was for asking a 'silly' question at ballet which turned out to be not silly at all and a few others in the class were interested in the answer too.
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